I shall be emo later, not now XD.
We are being used as walking advertisement! Today we are forced to wear the stupid njc ip preview t shirt instead of our lovely polo t shirt >:(. It doesn't make sense cos we are showing it to the one who is definitely not going for ip preview (namely the ip3,4, jc1,2) and then not showing it to the one who need to see :o. But there is one advantage of wearing it, we don't need to tuck in XD.
Lessons are quite ok today. I stoned for the whole geog and chem. Played tic tac toe with ryan, lawrence, jing ho, zhou yuen, nikos and won most of the time :D. Ryan and me thought of hosting a inter-class tic tac toe competition for raising fund XD. Then I learned how to play bridge and lost most of the time lol.
Ok done. Now is all about Malay Dance. Those who are not interested please skip.
Today we listened to Xiao Ying and Mrs Tan talking about the problem. They talked a lot about how to change the CCA. But that's not the point. I decided to quit cos I don't feel like and don't want to be involved already.
The problem now is about people in the CCA is not in 1 group. Malay Dance now consist of a whole bunch of guys and n bunches of girls (i don't know the exact number but it's more than 1) . And they train separately, dance separately. Every training has a format. People came, warm up, may be together, may be not. Being brief by the SLs then the guys go other place, do their own thing. The girl stay there (wherever it is), also do their own thing. Then after 3 hours they get their bags and rush home. It has always been like that since the start of the year. I will be surprised if we don't get bored.
We not only train separately, but also dance separately. It is always: girls dance, come out, then guys come in, dance, come out, then girls come in, dance, come out, etc (u get the point). I'm not blaming cikgu for choreographing it like that. Even if guys dance with girls on stage, we look like two different groups cos we don't train together! I personally don't know what the girls do during their training, but what we do is the same and the same and the same. And even though we do the same and the same and the same, they still give different and different and different comments (wth!).
Ok I admitted I didn't do a good job for a SL. I slacked a lot, played a lot, fooled around a lot. I set a bad image for others. I got scolded and still never change. It is because I have given up trying. I don't want to do, u force me also I still don't do. It is because I have no more willing to dance, or, to be with Malay Dance . Yes, I had fun, but it was always with the guys. I rarely talked to the girls, really. I don't even know some of their names. It is very easy to find out but I don't want to, just like that. Because I will probably never talk to them. As I said above, we come, warm up, go other place, train, then rush back home, where got time to talk?
I have a different feeling while dancing now. Before, I felt proud of what I did and enjoyed the dance. Because it deserved being enjoyed. Now I dance, feeling embarrassed when ppl look at me, because I feel that dancing Malay Dance is somehow strange, hilarious, ridiculous. I am not brave enough to dance, that's it. Sorry.
Sorry Xiao Ying I don't want to hurt you but I personally think that Ferleen has done a better job. I know it is also under other circumstances like the group is bigger, Mrs Tan is busier, we don't have venues etc, but the way Ferleen managed the group is different. To me and I think other Vietnamese also, Ferleen is like a friend, a big sister, and a president in its true meaning. I am not opposing anyone, but I really cannot list out the exco members of last year. I think it's because ferleen can take everything on her own so she has a very big impact. The way the CCA is being managed has a lot of problems. Being an exco, I should be the one who bring up and try to change, but like I said before, I gave up already. Sorry.
I really miss the seniors. Dance was always fun last year.I remembered how much I wanted to dance when I just joined Malay Dance. We learned new steps, danced together and had fun together. No matter how hard we trained for SYF and Aristal, I still tried my best and always enjoyed the dance. The sweet feeling of dancing is now gone. It is now tasteless, leaving me in the dance. And that's why I need to leave.
Aristal is coming. I refused to dance for combine dance when I was asked. So what's left is that I only dance for 2 mins in traditional and about the same amount in the comtemp dance. I feel quite sad that I actually had no performance this year. CNY doesn't count. It doesn't have a quality of a real performance. Then that's it. What I have achieved this year is actually none. I didn't regretted anything, from joining to staying here. This is not anyone's fault. Life is just like that. I only accept it and move on.